Man wonders if he was wrong for telling his boss to apologize to his wife after an 5:55 am call

After a decade of loyalty, one man shared on Reddit how he finally drew the line on early-morning calls, highlighting the need for clearer workplace boundaries.

Most people have had a boss who doesn’t quite respect the clock. A late-night email, a weekend text about something that could have waited until Monday, a call that starts with “sorry to bother you but…” only to end up talking for twenty minutes. Most of the time, we just put up with it, maybe venting a bit to our partner before moving on. But one person decided to take a stand and shared his experience on Reddit.

A Reddit user had been at his job for over ten years, and he and his boss had a friendly relationship, even attending each other’s kids’ graduation parties. As he explained, one morning, his boss called him twice at 5:50 am, but he was in the bathroom and missed both calls. In a panic, his boss then called the man’s wife at 5:55 am to find out where he was, leaving her worried and unsure if something was wrong.

The reason for all this urgency was due to a customer’s machine that had stopped working, the same one the man had been working on the previous day. Frustrated by the situation, he sent his boss an email expressing that his actions were unacceptable and asking for an apology to his wife. After that, he turned to Reddit to see if he overreacted.

Most commenters sided with the OP

One person wrote, “Unless it’s an emergency, he has no business calling your spouse. Ever.” The man explained that his wife’s number was available for any real emergencies; she had been called before when he was in the hospital. However, getting called while in the bathroom early in the morning does not count as an emergency.

Another commenter suggested that the man should take his concerns to HR, saying, “Go directly to HR, that’s wildly unprofessional.” While this is a reasonable idea, in a small company with only three owners, HR might not be neutral on such matters. This makes the man’s decision to directly email his boss the right step, since it keeps a formal record of the communication.

Some people shared similar experiences. One person mentioned, “My boss texted me about a patient chart that I had forgotten to sign the previous day at 6:34 AM this week. Not okay.”

Not everyone was fully in agreement, though. One person said, “Unreasonable.. depends on things like urgency of the contact, your role/seniority, whether you’re paid to be on-call and personal circumstances (e.g., caring responsibilities)”. If someone is on call or their contract mentions such contacts, it might be acceptable; otherwise, it’s probably not appropriate.

Are there any laws for after-hours contact?

In the United States, there aren’t many federal laws that prevent employers from contacting employees outside regular working hours. This means that, in many places, managers can call or message workers whenever they like. However, some states are starting to make changes. For instance, California introduced a bill for “right to disconnect” in 2024, which aims to ensure employees have more time for themselves and their families without being interrupted by work. However, it is yet to be implemented.

The right to disconnect law was first introduced in France in 2016 and has since spread to other European countries. In 2018, Spain passed a law allowing workers in both private and public sectors to disconnect from work, ensuring they can enjoy their time off and maintain their personal lives. Similar laws have also been passed in Italy and Belgium as well.

Besides Europe, Canada also has a “disconnecting from work” policy on a provincial level. Ontario has a law requiring companies with 25 or more employees to have a written policy stating that employees shouldn’t feel pressured to respond to emails or calls after their shifts end. They also need to provide this policy to all employees, making it clear that their personal time is respected. Australia has similar regulations that allow employees to refuse contact from their employers outside of work hours under certain conditions.

Setting boundaries can be hard, especially if you’ve been at your job for a long time. However, when work starts to cause unnecessary stress for your loved ones, that’s when it becomes a problem. It’s one thing for a piece of equipment to break down at work; it’s another if your partner wakes up anxious, fearing something has happened to you.

If we don’t prioritize our family’s peace of mind, work can easily take over our lives, leaving us with nothing for ourselves.