Scott Galloway explains what it actually takes to become a man — in a recent Gwyneth Paltrow interview
His definition of manhood sparked a conversation, and people can’t agree on whether he’s right or wrong.
Scott Galloway sat down to speak with Gwyneth Paltrow on her Goop podcast about what it takes to become a man. In the discussion, the NYU professor and entrepreneur spoke about what he believes it takes to become a man, touching on responsibility and emotional growth. His remarks gained attention online, drawing both praise and criticism for how they frame modern manhood.
Background
Scott Galloway is best known as a NYU business professor and author. He founded multiple companies and is the bestselling author of the book The Four and Notes on Being a Man. Galloway also co-hosts the Pivot podcast with journalist Kara Swisher. He gives unfiltered looks and insights into wealth, tech, and business. His blog, No Mercy/No Malice, also dives into real-world topics.
What happened
In the podcast, they discussed how modern masculinity is being redefined. He says, “I think that there are a lot of people born as males…. who die and never become men.” He goes on to say that when you become a man, you get to a “point of surplus value. One way to add surplus value is to create more jobs than you absorb.”
He then states that, “I don’t think that I would qualify as a man until I was in my 40’s because I approached all my relationships as a transaction. Am I getting as much out of this friendship as I’m giving? Are my employees generating more value than I’m paying them? Is my girlfriend spending as much time with my parents as I’m spending with hers? That is not the way to live.”
He ended with, “The whole idea is that you get to the end and you’ve loved more people than have loved you, you’ve noticed more people’s lives. A lot of people feel safe around you, and the ultimate expression of masculinity is that you plant trees that you’ll never sit under.”
Reactions
The reactions in the comments section were mixed. One person said, “Loved this conversation.” Another said, “Wow, the last line is so perfect!”
This person wrote, “More people need to be educators. It’s the best way to live this type of life, and truly plant trees under which you’ll never sit.”
Someone who viewed it a bit differently said, “I like the message but don’t see it so gendered. I want to give more than I take, leave tings between than I found them…be a decent human.” This comment took the opposite viewpoint of others. “What a sad outlook and devastating thing to say to your children.”
Why this matters
Galloway’s comments come at a time when ideas of masculinity are being questioned and debated. Across culture and media, there is concern about why boys and young men are struggling, from academic to mental health. Conversations about what it means to “be a man” often sit at the intersection of shifting gender norms and uncertainty about expectations.
His focus on responsibility and contributing value shows a push to redefine masculinity away from dominance or status and toward accountability and long-term impact. The reactions to his comments show the sensitivity and nature this topic has become. Society will continue to debate how to raise boys in a world shaped by digital distraction and evolving social norms, with discussions like this about what healthy masculinity should look like in the modern era.
My personal take
Listening to Scott Galloway talk with Gwyneth Paltrow on the Goop Podcast, what struck me most was not how radical his definition of manhood sounds, but how familiar it actually is. Responsibility, emotional maturity, contributing more than you take, and making others feel safe were always markers of a good man. The difference now is that society — and especially women — are far less willing to excuse the opposite.
Traits that once slipped by with a shrug are now called out, questioned, and judged, not because standards suddenly changed, but because tolerance for bad behavior has run out. For a long time, men could delay growing up without much consequence. Today, that grace period is shrinking. What feels like a “crisis of masculinity” is often just accountability catching up, and that discomfort says more about lost privilege than lost purpose.
