Dad won’t let his daughter’s friends come over if they ignore house rules—Mom says he’s going too far and asks Reddit
People on Reddit debate about whether house rules make friends feel uncomfortable or if visitors should follow the rules of the house they are going to.
Every family has its own set of rules that it expects guests to follow, but some of these rules can be uncomfortable, especially when it comes to teenagers and their smartphones. A recent Reddit discussion sparked debate after a mother shared her disagreement with her husband over how strict they should be with their daughter’s friends when they come over.
In her post, the mother explained that her husband has a firm rule against using phones in the shared areas of their home, such as the living room and dining room. While taking photos is allowed, excessive phone use, especially during meals, is not. The issue arose when one of their daughter’s friends was glued to her phone during her visit. Even during dinner, the husband asked her twice to put it away, but she kept going back to it.
Later, he told his wife he no longer wanted that friend coming over if she could not follow simple house rules. The mother disagreed and worried that the situation would hurt their daughter socially. She argued that teenagers often avoid homes with overly strict parents. She also added that her husband is a school teacher and feels that such rules are not hard to follow. According to her, he would even prefer collecting phones in a basket before meals.
Many people in the comments supported the father, believing that his request was simply an expression of good manners. Most parents would not tolerate guests openly ignoring rules after being asked multiple times. One person wrote, “There’s nothing wrong with expecting them to obey the rules of the house.” Another commenter added, “The rule is appropriate, reasonable, and apparently necessary. It’s rude to interrupt dinner, unless it’s an emergency.”
For some families, mealtime is one of the few moments when everyone gathers in the same place. If a teenager refuses to put away their phone after being asked a couple of times, it can feel disrespectful to the family.
On the other hand, some people understood the mother’s worries about how this might affect her daughter’s friendships. Kids often talk about strict parents, and they might shy away from places where they feel closely monitored. One person wrote, “You can’t control other people’s kids.” Another suggested making their home more welcoming for friends.
The original poster acknowledged that this was exactly her concern. She shared that when she was younger, friend groups often avoided homes with strict parents as they felt very uncomfortable following such hard rules.
Respecting someone else’s house rules, my view
Every home has its own routine, boundaries, and expectations. For instance, some families ask everyone to take off their shoes at the door, while others might ask that music be turned down at specific times or that loud conversations be avoided. Some may even prefer that phones be put away during meal times. While guests might not agree with every rule, it’s important to show them respect if they want to be invited back in the future. Ignoring a host’s requests can come off as rude, even if the rules are too simple to follow. This applies to everyone, not just teenagers. All guests, regardless of age, should honor their hosts’ guidelines.
Teenagers, in particular, often visit each other’s homes, and they can realize that every place has its own environment. One friend’s house might be lively and relaxed, while another family might have a more formal atmosphere. When a parent says, “Please put your phone away during dinner,” it’s not an unreasonable request. Most parents who make such rules are not trying to control other people’s kids; they just want to make sure everyone feels respected in their home.
However, it’s also important for hosts to think about how they enforce these rules. Constantly reminding guests about the rules or treating teenagers like students can create an uncomfortable atmosphere. There’s a fine line between setting expectations and making guests feel stressed. Gently reminding guests works better than being overly strict about the rules.
